The Art of Asking - or how I came to embrace my giant squid

I remember the first time I met Amanda Palmer. It was at a signing (for context here's a blog I wrote at the time), so it was over fairly quickly. All I said was thank you, and I smiled. She smiled back and looked me straight in the eye.

At the time I couldn't comprehend that she could be interested in me as much more than another face in a line of fans. The look in her eye said otherwise. Yes, she was in a daze, but in the moment she was searching me, looking for a connection, trying to see if I'd enjoyed the show - her Fraud Police were in force that night.

She talks about eye contact and communicating by making these connections with people in her book, The Art of Asking. She also talks about the Fraud Police which I'll get to in a minute. For her, these connections are easy to make, second nature really. She's been making them since she was fresh out of college earning money as a living statue (and yes, earning is the right word, it's not a job I envy).

For me, it was startling and unlooked for, almost unnatural. My learned behaviour is a reflexive wall to keep people out, or myself in I don't know which. So when she reached out in that moment ...

Her book also made me look back at my writing and theatre careers that weren't. I was trying to make theatre, but it all stopped. I stopped. I stopped asking, I stopped making connections. I started listening to the Fraud Police.

The Fraud Police are those voices we hear in our heads saying we're not really what we seem, people will soon realise we can't do what they think we can etc.

I did make one big connection some years ago however, when I met my now wife. And she believed in me when I didn't, and that was enough for me to start writing again. It's even been enough for me to start putting some writing out there - this blog for instance - and ask in a general way for people to read it. But there's still Fraud Police.

Symbolic of all this is the giant squid. Yes, I said that. There's a scene in The Scarlet Ring with a giant squid, and when I've told people of the book I often end up feeling apologetic about describing a book that has that scene. Which is ridiculous when I would never hold it against anyone else's book and even count it as a good reason to read it. But there it is. And my wife is aware of that, and bought me a kraken bottle opener. She even forced me to tell someone about it - there was context - and the person in question thought it was cool.

Amanda's book showed me that if I'm going to find my audience I have to ask the question - will you read my book? To ask the question I have to accept that no is an answer and so, more frighteningly, is yes. I have to connect with people, to be honest and open with them. Even if that simply means letting people read about the giant squid.

Amanda's honesty and openness have inspired me. I will release the kraken!

Keep dreaming!

A Song of Ice and Fire - Finally I'm Up to Date

Last night I stayed up later than was wise because I was so close to my destination and I had to reach it. And reach it I did, I finished A Dance of Dragons and am finally up to date with George R.R Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. Now I join the throngs waiting for the next book.

It's called an epic fantasy and it really is in every sense, and reading it is certainly a journey. There are many fantastic vistas, especially when you get into the later books (which I guess will end up being the middle books by the time this thing is done), and I've loved visiting them and learning of the cultures and histories which are all vividly painted.

The characters are equally strong and Martin alters the writing to fit each perspective well, which can make the text read in troubling ways at times, but these are troubling characters and disturbing times.

The saga is certainly dark, with sometimes shocking violence and of course plenty of sex which is often quite twisted itself. However, I don't feel Martin has truly earned the reputation he has for killing off everyone's favourite characters. There are many, many deaths but very few characters that I actually care about have died so far. Some have appeared to die in one book only to turn up in the next - something I'm not ruling out come book six.

Finally, I'll just say, I'm happy in my decision to stick to reading the books and not watching the series. I did watch the first season and it was good television, but it felt like a Reader's Digest version of the story. There's no way to give the same depth to the characters and cultures in the show as in the books and for me that's what makes A Song of Ice and Fire so good. I also want to stick to one version of the story. There were two many unnecessary and quite odd changes in the first season, from what I've heard they only increase as it goes on.

Anyway, that's my very brief opinion on what is a vast story of considerable complexity. The journey is not always pleasant but it is worth taking if you can find the time.

Keep dreaming!