The Art of Asking - or how I came to embrace my giant squid

I remember the first time I met Amanda Palmer. It was at a signing (for context here's a blog I wrote at the time), so it was over fairly quickly. All I said was thank you, and I smiled. She smiled back and looked me straight in the eye.

At the time I couldn't comprehend that she could be interested in me as much more than another face in a line of fans. The look in her eye said otherwise. Yes, she was in a daze, but in the moment she was searching me, looking for a connection, trying to see if I'd enjoyed the show - her Fraud Police were in force that night.

She talks about eye contact and communicating by making these connections with people in her book, The Art of Asking. She also talks about the Fraud Police which I'll get to in a minute. For her, these connections are easy to make, second nature really. She's been making them since she was fresh out of college earning money as a living statue (and yes, earning is the right word, it's not a job I envy).

For me, it was startling and unlooked for, almost unnatural. My learned behaviour is a reflexive wall to keep people out, or myself in I don't know which. So when she reached out in that moment ...

Her book also made me look back at my writing and theatre careers that weren't. I was trying to make theatre, but it all stopped. I stopped. I stopped asking, I stopped making connections. I started listening to the Fraud Police.

The Fraud Police are those voices we hear in our heads saying we're not really what we seem, people will soon realise we can't do what they think we can etc.

I did make one big connection some years ago however, when I met my now wife. And she believed in me when I didn't, and that was enough for me to start writing again. It's even been enough for me to start putting some writing out there - this blog for instance - and ask in a general way for people to read it. But there's still Fraud Police.

Symbolic of all this is the giant squid. Yes, I said that. There's a scene in The Scarlet Ring with a giant squid, and when I've told people of the book I often end up feeling apologetic about describing a book that has that scene. Which is ridiculous when I would never hold it against anyone else's book and even count it as a good reason to read it. But there it is. And my wife is aware of that, and bought me a kraken bottle opener. She even forced me to tell someone about it - there was context - and the person in question thought it was cool.

Amanda's book showed me that if I'm going to find my audience I have to ask the question - will you read my book? To ask the question I have to accept that no is an answer and so, more frighteningly, is yes. I have to connect with people, to be honest and open with them. Even if that simply means letting people read about the giant squid.

Amanda's honesty and openness have inspired me. I will release the kraken!

Keep dreaming!

Catching Up

So it's been half a year since I wrote anything in here. That's deplorable. Anyway, it also leaves a lot of things uncovered. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully catch up in any detail so I'll try to put some things in here.

In terms of my writing the past six months have been pretty good. I've had two very short works published by Grouch - an online literary journal that aims to promote new writing/writers. The first actually came out in December last year, and I'd written it a few years before that. The second came out last week. The newer piece is very different for me, it's real life for one thing. It can be found here.

I've also been working slowly but surely on Hierophants' Fall, but in the meantime I entered Chapter One Blitz through Freshly Squeezed. This was a sort of competition where the first chapter of a YA novel was submitted and read by teens, peers and professionals. All of whom then gave feedback - so winning was a bonus, not one I got but I won through the feedback.

I submitted part of the first chapter of The Scarlet Ring, although I left the prologue out which I had to take into account when I got some of the feedback about how books open. Overall the feedback was positive and the criticism all agreed so it gave me a clear direction to go in. So that was a great experience and one that deserved a blog entry or two on its own.

There's been a lot of reading I haven't mentioned as well. Too much for this blog but I will mention two books: Last House Burning by Katy Scott and Unwanted by Amanda Holohan. Disclaimer - Katy and Amanda are friends and former co-workers. Amanda was a fellow subeditor and Katy was one of the writers who happily didn't need much work done subediting wise.

Amanda was already a published author when I met her; her first book was The King's Fool, which she nicely gave me a copy of when she left work. It's a great fantasy novel with some amazing characters and a vivid world. The sad part is, it's book one of a trilogy and books two and three are not published, so I remain hanging on that one.

Unwanted similarly left me hanging but thankfully in this case the publisher is running with the series. It's a dystopia with a teenage heroine, which may sound familiar to fans of the Hunger Games and Divergent series, but it's very much its own world and story so don't get any silly notions of bandwagons or anything like that. For one thing, there's a rich vein of alien invasion in it as well. The world is very detailed and has a strong mythology and history, which runs counter to truth so the world of our heroine is turned on its head.

Katy is self-published, for which she has my strong admiration. Last House Burning is also YA but in the urban fantasy genre. It's actually a mix of comedy and drama with some delicious satire. It has an Australian setting which I loved, and most of the action takes place in a fictional suburb of the Blue Mountains - where I grew up, so it had a nice homey feel for me. Not that I've met one of the Sentenced, St Peter or any employees of the devil. It's a fun ride with characters you can genuinely feel for and invest in. You can buy it here.

Hope to hear more on these pages more often!

Keep dreaming!

Update for a New Year

So this is just a quick blog to open the year. 2015 is going to be a big year for me and my writing, at least that's the plan. I'm pushing my copywriting/editing service for small businesses too, there are a lot of small businesses out there who could really use some better website content and I can do that easily and at prices they can afford. Promo over :)

My submission to the Blackguards anthology via Ragnarok Publishing was unsuccessful so I'm going to make it the first of a series of prequel stories to The Scarlet Ring. It was about one of the side characters in the novel and what he was doing immediately prior to the beginning of the book. In fact, some of it probably overlaps if I think about it. I'm looking forward to getting Blackguards anyway, it has some great authors in it I haven't seen much of.

I've also just finished a submission for the Black Library's call for Deathwatch short stories. I haven't finished the story but they only want a sample. Fingers crossed on that one.

Meanwhile I need to get back to Hierophants' Fall (the sequel to The Scarlet Ring). I'm working on a timeline at the moment while testing Aeon Timeline, which I got a trial version of courtesy of NaNoWriMo.

Reading wise I just finished (finally) the Women Destroy Science Fiction issue of Lightspeed. As with all anthologies it had some misses but a lot of hits too. I was surprised by how many bleak stories there were, some were very morbid, but there were some good upbeat ones too. The flash fiction section was fun too.

I think the stand-outs for me Walking Awake by N K Jemisin, which told about parasites that took over human bodies and grew us for hosts, A World Shaped Like Bones by Kris Millering, which was about an artist alone in space with a man she killed accidentally for a very long time and making art from his corpse (reminded me of one I read in Nightmare #1 a bit) and The Cost to be Wise by Maureen F McHugh, which was a story of a mission where well-meaning people try to teach the locals, it ends in a massacre funnily enough.

More soon. I want this blog to be much more frequent this year.

Keep dreaming!

A Fresh Start

This year has been a complicated one. There have been the extreme joys of watching my son in his first year of life, the awe of each new discovery he makes and the ongoing marvel that he is indeed my son and I am a father. Not sure I'll ever get used to that bit but it is fantastic.

Then there's been the downsides. The biggest being the loss of my father-in-law to cancer. He battled the disease for over a year and for much longer than was initially predicted. He was a good man and it was good to see him with my son, they got on so well and shared many laughs. I won't say any more about that here, but he is sorely missed in this house.

On top of that I was made redundant from a job I'd had for almost a decade. I didn't love the job but losing it so suddenly shook me up and my sense of purpose. As it happened the timing was very good, I was able to be there for my wife when her mother was sick and she had to look after her father. I also got to see more of my son as he learnt to crawl and stand and so much more.

And now it seems that I have two options. I could find another job I don't love just to make an income, or I could have a go at creating my own niche and living my creative dreams. I will still need a job of some description, at least initially, but I think it's important I take this opportunity to live my life my way.

Already I've written a short story which I submitted to an anthology which is coming out in December. I won't know if my story will be included for another month I imagine but it was good to write and finish something. As it happens it was a prequel for one of the minor characters in The Scarlet Ring, the sequel of which I'll be having another go at in NaNoWriMo.

So there's writing going on; I'm going to look into recording audiobooks to release on Bandcamp; and I'll offer my copy editing services to people who have written manuscripts and plays.

A bleak year is turning around. A pitfall is becoming an opening to a new opportunity and Stoppard's Player from Ros & Guil are Dead was distinctly correct, every exit is an entrance some place else. Screw plan B, grab your chances and ...

Keep dreaming!

I Write Like

I don't know how the site does the analysis but if you insert text you've written into it, it analyses it somehow and tells you what famous writer you write like. So I put the first page of The Scarlet Ring in and was pretty chuffed with the result. Here's hoping I get the success he's had.

I write like
Neil Gaiman

I Write Like. Analyze your writing!

Keep dreaming!

The Next Step

As mentioned on my Facebook page, I recently finished the first draft of The Silver Ring. This is a completely unprecedented step for me. I’ve finished short plays, even fairly long plays, and I’ve finished short stories – but a novel is a whole different scenario. I have no methods for revising something this long. Which I admit is somewhat daunting, but also pretty exciting.

I know the story has some problems in terms of plotting. People are in one place when they don’t actually get there for several days. That came about because of the way I wrote the strands separately without detailed planning, so there’s a lesson for book two, keep a diary for every character so I know how many days they have to do things. Which is how I’m going to fix it; I’ll do a day-by-day account of events – and finally come up with fixed times for how long it takes to travel from one place to another. All of which probably should’ve been done before writing the first draft but yar, lesson learnt.

Once I figure that out I can shuffle bits around again and make any adjustments necessary. I already think one character will have to stay where she is and have something happen to her there because there’s no feasible way of her reaching the place where it happens at the moment in time. Which is annoying in a way, although just thinking about it as I write this I see a possibility. That could work …

Anyway, once the continuity is sorted I guess it’s just a matter of going over it with a fine-tooth comb, correcting the errors, tightening the language and losing the dross. Then comes the scariest step – letting someone read it.

Keep dreaming!

NaNoWriMo Reflection

It’s been a long while since I wrote here but I’m back. The main delay was of NaNoWriMo as I worked away to write 50,000 words in November and get The Scarlet Ring really on its way. I have to say it was a fantastic experience and I’m very happy with myself for completing it successfully.

It showed me a number of things, the first and most important one being that I can apply myself to write something and if I do it will actually come along. I went into it with the first part of the story written and a rough plan as to where the middle part was going, and while it dragged at times it generally came along fairly well and developed in new ways as it did. Characters suddenly sprung into existence which meant things shifted course ever so slightly and new scenes ran their course.

I also noticed certain pitfalls I kept falling into and phrases I was clearly far too keen on using which I might not normally pick up on if writing more intermittently. Unfortunately with the looming deadline I didn’t always get to fix what I knew I was doing, but I could at least recognise they exist for when I go back for the rewrite. “Fix it in post,” was my wife’s declaration whenever I voiced a doubt about anything.

The biggest issue for the rewrites will actually be the timing of events; I have a few plot lines running and they do crossover but I have characters meeting another character on an island when they were still on a different island for another three days in their story. Bit of a physical impossibility but not a major drama believe it or not.

Another thing I noticed was, in writing with more abandon and with the aim of meeting a word count within a strict time limit, things got more fleshed out. I started to get the feeling the first part that I wrote over months beforehand was a pasty skeletal figure next to the NaNo passage. I’m quite sure some of what I wrote in November will disappear entirely by the final draft, but I think the lack of momentum in the earlier stages led to a more fragmentary narrative which may need beefing up.

Finally, and somewhat obviously, the whole process reminded me of the most essential thing – for me – about writing: how much I enjoy doing it. Sure, there were times when I was struggling and just forcing myself to keep putting words down, but even doing that brought a sense of satisfaction. And breaking through those stages to the really good bits where things flew along (notably so did the action) was a great feeling.

So, thank you Office of Light and Letters, it may seem a strange thing to some but NaNoWriMo is a wonderful initiative. I’ll see you in November.

Keep dreaming.

NaNoWriMo Eve

So tomorrow is the beginning of National Novel Writing Month. 50,000 words to be written in just 30 days. It's a challenge, it should be fun and it's the kick in the pants to get things going I've been needing.

Prep is going all right. I have some plotting worked out - it's allowed - and I'm going to do a bit more shortly. Just finishing up getting my work area fairly clean so it's not distracting.

Got coffee supply and tea, might need to invest in some nuts to munch, keep the grey matter ticking. Got tunes aplenty, from classical to rock depending on my mood, and the sound system is good.

Yup, I think I'm ready. Wish me luck, and to anyone else doing it, good luck!

Keep dreaming.

A Promethean Symphony

So I've been thinking today about my playwrighting and where it's going/hasn't been going. Aside from numerous personal factors, I think one reason so little happened for as long as it didn't, was that I can never seem to produce anything that would be deemed a full-length play. This strictly speaking shouldn't really matter - Samuel Beckett only wrote one, his first. After that his works got shorter and shorter as he tried to produce a pure theatrical image. However, outside festivals of 10-minute plays and the occasional special event of one-act wonders there's little call for shorter works.

But I've also realised I'm not interested in writing a long play. I have stories to tell and theatrical images to attempt, and my style of telling these stories is generally very quick. My longest play actually suffers from its size I think - that and it has a light and a dark side that don't mesh.

What does excite me is an idea I've tossed around in my head a few times but until now never gotten fully into. Basing my works on other structures borrowed from other mediums. I got the idea listening to classical music - well Romantic probably but that's a pedantic argument - and the prevalence of short pieces in collections. Three Sketches; Two Poems for Orchestra, etc. Why not turn a shorter piece of mine into a 'movement' of a greater work?

So comes my idea to write A Promethean Symphony. My first movement is Prometheus Rebooted, an Andante if you will as it does move along fairly slowly and isn't high on the action front. It will be followed by three more movements, I haven't figured out what, based on the general nebulous theme of Promethean/Frankenstonian lore.

I've also come up with the plan to finish part one of the first book of The Scarlet Ring by the end of this month, work on one or two movements of the symphony in October then get into NaNoWriMo before finishing both works over December/January. I should get back to Five-Fingers too ... hold that thought.

Keep dreaming!

Retreat by the River

Just spent a few wonderful days relaxing with my wife on the South Coast. We needed a getaway so we took one. We stayed at Bewong River Retreat which is a series of bungalows right in the bush. It's designed for couples - no kids allowed - and I'd certainly recommend it if you want to get away from the world. It really does feel like you're in the middle of the bush, largely because you are. There are birds aplenty, kangaroos all around and even some wallabies. It's also right on the river.

While there we went for a bit of sightseeing and saw Green Patch, which is just idyllic, and Sanctuary Point. There were many birds and another wallaby but the echidna was the biggest thrill. It was by the side of the road at the end of a National Parks road and was very intent on some tasty ants so didn't mind us at all.

I managed to get some writing done too, adapting an earlier version of a scene in The Scarlet Ring and writing the following scene which I had no idea how it would pan out until I did it. Pretty happy with all that. Finished reading two books too: Michael Moorcock's The Vanishing Tower and ER Eddison's Worm Ouroboros. The former is one of the Elric novels which I'm working my way through, may blog about them later. The Worm however was the ebook I was reading and it's an older fantasy novel written like a chivalric romance. It's quite bizarre in its way and the style of it won't be to everyone's taste but it's well worth reading if you're a fan of fantasy and/or romances (not the modern sort but Arthurian/Charlemagne etc).

Keep dreaming!

Goals and Plans

So I have a couple of plans in mind and I'm going to commit them to this blog to make sure I stick with them. There's one about my playwrighting and one about The Scarlet Ring.

The thing with the playwrighting is I did actually finish two one-act pieces this year and since then both have sat on my computer not bothering anyone or finding out if they're any good - let alone trying to come to life on the stage. So the plan is a play reading picnic in the park.

People will gather, some volunteering to read, others just coming to enjoy the event and join the discussion, then while a picnic lunch is eaten the two plays will be read out. Then as we digest the food everyone who wants to can give some feedback on the plays. That should at least give me the basis for a second draft. That's the plan. A date will be set soon and people will be invited via Facebook, so if you're interested watch that space. It'll be in Sydney in case you're not.

Plan two. I've decided to give NaNoWriMo a go this year. That's the National Novel Writing Month, where you sign up and challenge yourself to write 50,000 words of a novel in November. The idea is to start a new novel, I don't want to do that but I do want to face the challenge properly. Bit of an issue when I've already started but I have a plan.

Before this came up I had divided The Scarlet Ring into three parts (not the trilogy but three sections of book one). So the plan is to finish part one before November and do parts two and three as the challenge.

The Scarlet Ring - First Draft Excerpt

So this is just an excerpt of a rough scene early in the novel. I'm sharing it because it has the first appearance of a lute player Tomorillo, who was inspired by Tom Dickins and his music.

The three acolytes sat at a table across from the hearth, warming themselves from the twilight chill and waiting for more people to come in. Hanissa sighed; it didn’t feel right to be here, doing nothing. Darian had made the plan, go to the inn where Calestra had been last seen, ask people who had seen her if they knew where she’d gone; simple enough. She knew it was logical, and Alisan certainly liked the idea, but ... it meant being here, in the village, surrounded by people.

“Cheer up lil’ sis,” Alisan gave her a nudge with a tankard of ale, “it’s just one night. We’ll find where she’s gone and be on our way.”

“On our way where?” Darian said. “Chances are we’re going to be in villages for a while, maybe even Esst, if not some other city. You’re going to have to come to grips with it Han, I’m sorry.”

Hanissa sighed again, as melodramatically as she could to try to hide the genuine pain behind it. “I know,” she murmured, twirling a strand of her hair in her fingers, “I’ll be fine.”

“Course you will,” Alisan put her arm around her, “you’ve got us to watch out for you.” Hanissa looked up at her friend’s smiling face, framed by flaming auburn hair, and smiled back, still not sure how she felt – about more things than she cared to admit.

The sun set and the locals began to drop by the tavern for an evening meal or just a taste of the ale. They were barley farmers for the most part so they took pride in a good drop. At least we know the ale’s fresh, Hanissa thought as she tried another mouthful of the stew. The landlord insisted it was cooked today from a freshly butchered cow, but she seriously doubted the man’s honesty on that score.

Her mind wasn’t really on the food however, she was watching Alisan chatting to locals she’d befriended the night before. Ostensibly Hanissa was watching for trouble but really she was enthralled. The casual way Alisan could handle people, charming them all without even knowing it – at least the young men. She wasn’t jealous exactly, just fascinated.

“Stop staring,” Darian nudged her with his fork while mopping up his gravy with a hunk of day-old bread. “This is good isn’t it?”

Hanissa raised an eyebrow and took to staring out the window. The man walked by so quickly and suddenly she couldn’t be sure of what she’d seen. Were those wings? She looked to Darian but he had his whole attention on getting the last dregs of stew from his bowl. Surely she hadn’t seen a winged man ...

The door opened and there he was – complete with wings. He wasn’t the tallest or bulkiest of men, but lean with tussled blonde hair and a roguish beard. The wings were jet black and as he walked in she could see they were elaborate constructions with carefully placed down and wing feathers, she guessed from crows. She also noticed they were upside down as if the man would fly feet first or perhaps, downward instead of heavenward. The enigma smiled and waved and many of the locals who hailed him as he walked towards the hearth. His eyes twinkled and Hanissa noticed he had a pair of tattooed wings sprouting from his brows.

So mystified by his sudden and strange appearance, Hanissa didn’t notice he carried a lute until he strummed his first chord. “That’s Tomorillo,” Alisan said, suddenly seating back down beside her, “you’re going to love this lil’ sis.” Darian glanced up from his now empty stew bowl, grunted and started on Hanissa’s half-eaten meal.

Tomorillo began to sing and the room fell hush save for some muttered conversation in the corners from the older and more slovenly looking patrons. He sang a tale of broken hearts and battered lives, of losing hope and feeling only pain. It was a personal song, detailed and told from his own point of view. Hanissa could tell he sang truth, but for all that he sang of his own specific experience she knew it was hers too. The words weren’t hers but the music ... that was shared. She felt a chill go over her, tears welled in her eyes, but the song took a turn, his pain is but a moment, he’s felt it but now he’s standing here – he’s singing to these people, to me, she thought, and his hope is not gone completely and the pain will fade, one day.

The final chord faded and was lost to the crash of breaking plates as a barmaid dropped her bundle. People clapped and cheered; Tomorillo smiled at them all, almost embarrassed by their applause but clearly grateful. “Thank you my dears,” he said in a gentle voice. “If I might trouble one of you for an ale I’ll begin the next song.” A local lass jumped to her feet and rushed to the bar.

“What did you think?” Alisan asked with a gentle nudge to Hanissa’s arm. Her reply was a look of astonishment. Never had she heard music so personal and ... real before.

“Not bad,” Darian replied unwittingly, putting Hanissa’s now empty bowl beside his own. Alisan laughed and punched him playfully in the arm and Hanissa smiled for the first time all day.