The Art of Asking - or how I came to embrace my giant squid

I remember the first time I met Amanda Palmer. It was at a signing (for context here's a blog I wrote at the time), so it was over fairly quickly. All I said was thank you, and I smiled. She smiled back and looked me straight in the eye.

At the time I couldn't comprehend that she could be interested in me as much more than another face in a line of fans. The look in her eye said otherwise. Yes, she was in a daze, but in the moment she was searching me, looking for a connection, trying to see if I'd enjoyed the show - her Fraud Police were in force that night.

She talks about eye contact and communicating by making these connections with people in her book, The Art of Asking. She also talks about the Fraud Police which I'll get to in a minute. For her, these connections are easy to make, second nature really. She's been making them since she was fresh out of college earning money as a living statue (and yes, earning is the right word, it's not a job I envy).

For me, it was startling and unlooked for, almost unnatural. My learned behaviour is a reflexive wall to keep people out, or myself in I don't know which. So when she reached out in that moment ...

Her book also made me look back at my writing and theatre careers that weren't. I was trying to make theatre, but it all stopped. I stopped. I stopped asking, I stopped making connections. I started listening to the Fraud Police.

The Fraud Police are those voices we hear in our heads saying we're not really what we seem, people will soon realise we can't do what they think we can etc.

I did make one big connection some years ago however, when I met my now wife. And she believed in me when I didn't, and that was enough for me to start writing again. It's even been enough for me to start putting some writing out there - this blog for instance - and ask in a general way for people to read it. But there's still Fraud Police.

Symbolic of all this is the giant squid. Yes, I said that. There's a scene in The Scarlet Ring with a giant squid, and when I've told people of the book I often end up feeling apologetic about describing a book that has that scene. Which is ridiculous when I would never hold it against anyone else's book and even count it as a good reason to read it. But there it is. And my wife is aware of that, and bought me a kraken bottle opener. She even forced me to tell someone about it - there was context - and the person in question thought it was cool.

Amanda's book showed me that if I'm going to find my audience I have to ask the question - will you read my book? To ask the question I have to accept that no is an answer and so, more frighteningly, is yes. I have to connect with people, to be honest and open with them. Even if that simply means letting people read about the giant squid.

Amanda's honesty and openness have inspired me. I will release the kraken!

Keep dreaming!

AFP + GTO Concert - Sydney September 16, 2013

I want to say a few words about last Saturday night but I’m having a hard time finding them. In short, my wife, my teenage niece and I went to see Amanda Palmer and The Grand Theft Orchestra at The Enmore and the concert was brilliant. It was one of those nights where you can feel the energy and the positive vibes just radiating around the room. The performers were all full of life and bursting with energy and the mosh area was a wave of human activity and joyousness.

What’s more, this energy wasn’t just for Amanda and her band, it was for the support acts too. Sure it built to its fever pitch when Amanda came out to perform and almost immediately crowd-surfed, but it was pretty high even as people were gathering and DJ S… was doing her thing. So when Die R… came out to do their thing the mood was ready for fun. If only Otto and Astrid could deliver – oh wait.

So, Die Roten Punkte or The Red Spots in English, are … how does one put this? … insane? Hmm, not quite. Hilarious would be a fairer description. They’re a musical comedy duo from Germany (if you hadn’t guessed) and they treated us to punk rock treats like Burger Store Dinosaur. Their personas and relationship are worked out perfectly and there were definite times when it was hard to tell if the chaos was real or elegantly planned. The final number, which featured Amanda on double cowbell and later the GTO dancing was a riot of laughs as ’80s electro something (whatever Kraftwerk were) got a bizarre tribute at once mocking and loving.

We were then treated to two pieces by Jherek Bischoff, one third of The Grand Theft Orchestra and a composer. I admit the one thing of his I heard on YouTube was not to my liking, but these pieces were good. The first was a bass guitar solo so what’s not to love? The second was a version of something he wrote for the Kronos Quartet – which is pretty huge when you think about who they are in the Classical music world. He played it on the instrument he composed it on, the ukulele. I kid you not, he composed a string quartet on the uke – and listening to that rendition … I did not know the ukulele could sound quite like that.

Earlier in the day I’d said to my wife, ‘I wonder if they’ll play the Grand Theft Intermission as an intro while Amanda comes on stage’, so I was pretty chuffed when the band came out and started playing it. It was the beginning of an amazing set. They shot through the three biggest singles off the new album right at the front, then played a mix of older songs, covers and some Dresden Dolls numbers.

It was fascinating seeing the different dynamic of Amanda with the GTO and hearing the songs done by them as a group. I first saw her solo with some support from Mikelangelo and The Black Sea Gentlemen and they backed her up brilliantly but there was no sense of an organic whole, they were backing her up. Then I saw her with Brian Viglione as the Dresden Dolls and it was incredible how in synch they were. The Counting Crows can react in an instant to a subtle hand gesture from Adam, those two could communicate with a look.

With the GTO it was an organic whole, but more like the Counting Crows, Amanda did at times communicate with a hand gesture – I think anyway, I’m sure I saw her do it, once. But simply the instrumentation and the personalities altered the entire feel of the songs and the performance which was alive and electric. Chad on guitar was sometimes a little scary and if you don’t believe me ask the guy who copped shrapnel from a guitar when it played up, but he was right into the music. Which is how it was for them all, the music was the thing and with the waves of energy and love coming off the audience they rode that music.

I should not forget the powerhouse song by Amanda’s flat mate Mali, the vocalist for Jaggery. It was intense and rhythmic and a nice balance to the show as a whole. And her vocals during the encore performance of Sweet Dreams were amazing.

As I mentioned in my last blog Amanda did a signing after the show – why? Because she loves her fans dummy. I got separated from my wife who was in front of me in the queue, she didn’t want anything signed but had made a card for Amanda to thank her for everything she and her music has done for her. Touched, Amanda stood up, leant over the table, lightly held her head and kissed her gently on the cheek. I told you she loves her fans.

In the end I handed her my ticket because it felt silly to get up there without anything, but I just wanted to thank her and tell her it was an awesome show. She smiled and touched my arm gently in acknowledgement. I smudged the autograph within seconds but that really wasn’t the point – we have Amanda’s autograph on several things including a pair of coasters anyway. My niece did a similar thing, I don’t know what she said though – but for someone unfamiliar with Amanda’s music she seemed to have a really good night and chair danced a few times too.

So I guess I found the words, or rather they were already there I just had to start putting them down. There’s a lesson there.

I think the other lesson of the night, or something I take from Amanda in general, is that honesty and connection are powerful things. No hiding behind the shell, no hiding behind bitter resentments and negativity – that just leads to more bitterness and an endless loop of nothing actually happening and no-one being happy. Approach with honesty and love, accept people as they are and find the connection. Then magic can happen.

Keep dreaming.

Kickstarting the Possibilities

So there's this development in the creative scene called crowd funding. Many of you may well have heard about it; it's been around for a while now, someone I went to uni with has even used it. But it's come more strongly to my attention through projects by Amanda Palmer and Tom Dickins - names that have popped up once or twice in this blog before. Amanda's in particular is turning heads as it has raised well over half a million and is still going.

For those who don't know what crowd funding is, here's the basics. There are websites, two that I know of, Kickstarter in the US and Pozible in Australia, I'm sure other countries have them too, where artists from any creative medium can propose projects they are trying to get up. Using Tom as an example, he wants to make an album but has zero money and no backing from a label or anything. So, he's put up a project on Pozible and told his fans about it who have spread the word too. When they go there they can pledge a certain amount of money towards the project, there's a goal that has to be reached within 30 days. If enough people pledge enough money to make that goal they're pledges are processed and Tom will get the money (less a percentage for the website). Now, he has to explain where all the money will go etc, it's not an easy con, and most backers pledge their support for a reward which is related to the project - in this case a CD and digital copy of the album is the most logical. Tom's taking it all a bit further and every backer will have access to inside development information and is welcome to provide feedback and give ideas.



This concept is obviously an exciting one for anyone trying to produce creative works. It also puts certain responsibilities back on the artist. No-one's doing the boring stuff for you here. It sounds like a lot of money but, as Amanda Palmer has explained in her blog, it really isn't. It can provide the necessary funds, maybe a few more, but first of all you have to get the backers. And no-one's helping you find them either. Done well and with some strategy and realistic attitudes however, this really could be the future of creative endeavours. I doubt it will replace corporate entities and government funding etc, but it will allow emerging artists to be heard and seen.

Expect requests for pledges in the future. And maybe take a look at the sites to see what you can help happen. That's the other thing to remember with this, you become a part of the art, it's community and freedom all wrapped up in a confusing and exciting bubble. We really can make things happen.

Keep dreaming!

January Running Down

As we bid farewell to Janus for another year I figure it's time to consider the first month. The biggest highlight for me would have to be the Dresden Dolls' concert; it started with a far too short set by The Jane Austen Argument, those two are such beautiful souls and talented musicians. Then came the Bedroom Philosopher with his line of musical comedy and self-deprecating humour that tickled my fancy; but of course the Dolls themselves rocked out the house for a long time. Seeing them work together on stage, the level of communication and trust between them was as amazing as the music itself. And seeing Brian Viglione play drums is entertainment in itself.

In terms of my writing the year is off to a shaky start but it's still a start. The tale of Five-fingered Jack is developing in bursts and is the first completely new creation of 2012. Working on it has also confirmed my process involves some planning ahead and some improvising. More improvising around a set plan so I at least have a destination and some waypoints so I don't get lost.

With that in mind I've also started chapter outlines for novels; one was more practice than anything and probably won't be written, the other is for a novel I started years ago and long ago stalled. I also started writing descriptions of places as background work for the story. I might not use whole passages as written but having them gives me something to go off when using the places and helps me develop them in my head as well. The city of Esst, for instance, has gone from a hazy blob of streets with a port to a home of ruffian merchants, religious pariahs and a husband and wife who own an inn in a cave by docks at the base of a cliff in a secluded harbour off the Grey Seas.

The idea of reading 50 plays this year is also off to a rough start. Ibsen's Peer Gynt opened the account and led me into a strange tale of a man who'll be anything other than himself. The fantastic stories he invented or was involved in actually reminded me of Five-fingered Jack to some degree so there was that sense of synchronicity which often haunts me when my writing is going well.

Other than that I only managed two short works by Ferdinand Arrabal, a Spanish playwright who fits in to the post-Absurdist school if you believe in such things. Fascinating works; Guernica is an anti-war story but without the heavy-handed sentimentality or didacticism you might expect, and The Labyrinth is a metaphor, possibly, for life that denies easy interpretation and shows the absurdity of human existence quite clearly.

In other reading however I encountered Thomas Love Peacock for the first time. He was a friend of Percy Bysshe Shelley to give you the timing and wrote short satirical novels in a vaguely Gothic Romantic bent that lampoon the genre and German philosophy and society of the day all in the most charming an inoffensive way. The characters in Nightmare Abbey are hilarious send-ups of various stock types and social stereotypes. I mention this, partly to recommend Peacock, but also because of how I found him, which was on the internet looking for things for my e-reader.

While I do love physical books and the tangible experience of reading from them, I've found the e-reader a wonderful addition. It means I can read at times I wouldn't normally, so I'm reading more; but it also means I'm finding things to read I wouldn't have otherwise. I haven't gone to the shop sites and bought e-books; I've gone to the sites which have free e-books because the texts are in public domain. The University of Adelaide has one which has provided me with numerous texts and from its lists of authors I've discovered names like Peacock as well. There are also books it's hard to find physical copies of these days and ones I probably would've put off interminably if I had to rely on paper and ink alone. So for anyone still in a flap about e-books not being as good as the real thing, well that may be, but you're missing out on a world of reading never before so open.

A final comment, while the technology of e-readers is a wonderful development, the casual games of Facebook are not. They're distracting and I really must be better at avoiding the temptation of 'just a quick game of Bubble Brew' ...

On to February my friends – and remember, it's the month of the dead according to ancient Romans, hence the name.

Reflection Point 11/12

So, one year ends and another begins. A pragmatist might say it's just the changing of a digit on the calendar, or time to buy a new one I guess, but for the rest of us it is a good time to reflect and to plan - and in planning to hope.

This has been a good year for me, bought a townhouse with my wife - first calendar year of marriage too - started this website; met Neil Gaiman, Kevin Anderson and Marianne de Pierres; saw Muse, Amanda Palmer and Mikelangelo and the Black Sea Gentlemen; discovered some great music and read some good books. Work was fine too, got to do some more writing there too which may not be my type of thing but it's experience and money. There were downsides too of course but I won't go into them here.

What this blog is really about is the position I'm in for the New Year. Managed to finish a rough draft of Prometheus Rebooted with hours to spare before 2011 bid farewell, which was a goal and gives me something to polish and try to bring to fruition later. It also frees me up to work on other first drafts.

Other plans for the year are to do Harlan 101 as a sort of writing course and to read 50 plays. What does that mean I don't actually here you ask but imagine you might think, well let me explain - it's not that much so I won't just sum up. Harlan 101 is a book of short stories and essays written by Harlan Ellison. I heard about it through Neil Gaiman who wrote the introduction; he reckons anyone who wants to be a writer should read it, so I bought it. From the introduction it seems Neil learnt some of his craft from Ellison and found a lot of inspiration in his stories too. So I'm going through the book and making notes and thinking about things. I've read the first two stories and yes, I think I'll learn stuff from this book and enjoy reading it as well - so if you want a good read look for some Ellison.

The 50 plays idea is similar in a way. The real aim is to read a play a week; I'm just allowing myself a couple of weeks leniency. I won't just read them either, I'll read them, then make some notes for myself - see what they do and how they work. It's based on what Timothy Daly, who taught me playwrighting in uni, said, that we should read a play a week and not just for the course but in general. It will help with experience, motivation, inspiration and general craft knowledge.

Before I go I'll just quickly tell you about an evening with Neil Gaiman - I know, I know, I keep mentioning him but he keeps popping up in my life, blame Twitter. Anyway, he did a show in Sydney which I went to with Samara and we had a ball. It opened with Fourplay, the string quartet, who played mostly original works but also their version of the Doctor Who theme and Rage Against the Machine's Killing in the Name of, which were brilliant. The viola played the vocals for the last one and it was hilarious hearing a classical stringed instrument swear.

Neil read a number of stories some of which I'd read before in Fragile Things and others which were new - one was new to everyone there, he wrote it as a Christmas gift for his youngest daughter and the only copy he had to read from was the email he'd sent it in. That one was creepy and funny, so were several others; he's very good at making you laugh one second then freaking you out the next. The stories worked so well aloud, and his sheer enthusiasm and joy in telling them was infectious and inspiring. If I do mention him a lot it's not a bad thing, he's a good role model and influence for one such as me - or anyone really.

Let me wish you a happy New Year full of fun, frivolity, creativity and dreams. Especially the latter; remember the philosophers of Led Zeppelin's words - “Dream until your dreams come true.”

The Day I Met Neil Gaiman

I figure it's about time I started this blog and what better place to start it than the time I met Neil Gaiman? Of course, by meet I mean I handed him a book and he signed it and handed it back, but there was a moment and it deserves a blog.

First some back story. Six months before this fated meeting I'd barely heard of the man. I knew the name, I knew he was an author and someone at uni once told me I should read something he wrote. That was about it. Similarly, I'd heard of the Dresden Dolls and knew Coin-Operated Boy, but Amanda Palmer was a mystery to me. Then my wife, who at that stage was my fiancee and already a big fan of Amanda Palmer, bought and read Neverwhere because someone had told her she should. She wasn't even halfway through when she told me I had to read to it too. So of course I did; six months later I'd read it and American Gods and was collecting his other books as quickly as I could. This stuff was gold, solid gold.

So, when Amanda Palmer announced she was doing a show at the Opera House and Neil was going to be there ... it was a no brainer - so was I and my wife Samara. I listened to as much of her work before the show as I could and admit I became a big fan of her too. Soul-wrenching honesty, beautiful music, and a hefty dose of twisted humour - it's Neil's writing in song.

Just before the concert I bought a Jane Austen Argument EP, it was signed and we were going to see them and it seemed something I should do - I couldn't explain it. Damn glad I did though. They opened the concert and were breathtaking - gave me goose bumps as soon as Tom started to sing. Mikelangelo and the Black Sea Gentlemen were another revelation; then Amanda blew us all away, with Neil enchanting us with a poem of megafauna in the middle.

After the concert Amanda and Neil came out the front for signings. We knew they would from their twitter, so Samara and I had a book of his each on us and we bought a set of coasters with album art etc for her to sign at the merchandise table. The signing happened really fast so all I said to Amanda was thank you and I smiled idiotically, she smiled back in somewhat of a daze. To Neil I managed to say "You're a big inspiration," because he does inspire me and just his existence encourages me to keep writing. "Depends how much you care," he replied as he handed me the book back. I didn't fully register what he'd said at first and the next person was coming in, but I nodded and we had an infinitesimally short moment as I digested the statement. I was thrilled to bits and pretty much floated out of the Opera House.

It was pretty special. Reminded me of when I met Sir David Attenborough in a way. He didn't say something so thought-provoking but the moment left a big impression. I've thought the world of him for as long as I can remember so meeting him at a book signing was a big deal. I only blustered something about having grown up watching him (to which he said 'really?' in a polite way) and how he'd had a big impact on my life. Not even sure he completely heard it I probably mumbled. But the best part was as he handed the book back he shook my hand, I said thank you and, still holding my hand and looking me square in the eye, he said 'a pleasure.' He meant it to. He appreciated what the moment meant for me as a fan and he let me know that it meant a lot to him that I cared so much about his work. I floated for a good hour or so after that.

I thought about what Neil said a lot on the way home. I was thinking he'd just say that's nice of you or thank you. I think that's why I took a bit to register what he'd said. "You're a big inspiration," "Depends how much you care." It wasn't an immediate response, he took the book as I said it, turned deftly to the right page, signed in that well-practiced way, then said it on the return so the 'you care' was said as we both gripped the book and made eye contact. I think the look was a bit of, 'if you see what I mean' and a bit of seeing whether it meant anything to me, gauging my reaction sort of thing.

I probably disappointed him; I was halfway home before I finished digesting it fully. He's probably said it plenty of times but the way he did it, and the fact that he did make eye contact as he did; he meant it and meant it to mean something to me. I think it was also a form of thank you; 'that I have inspired you means you care about what I've done, thank you.' He definitely seems to appreciate his fans.

But to me the crux of what he said added up to more than that. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but that's my right. His work wouldn't inspire me if I didn't care about it, but more than that it wouldn't inspire me if I didn't care about my own work that he's inspired me to continue with. For me to really mean that he's a big inspiration and to show that I care I have to not just think it or even mean it, I have to do it. In one brief little exchange he inspired me even more than before. Because I do care about my work, so I will do it. Thank you Neil.