Reviews, progress and fear

It’s been a few weeks since I blogged, shame be upon me, but my how time flies. There has been some progress on some projects, a bit of a personal insight and a minor bit of excitement. The last one first, I wrote a review for one of the albums I’ve bought through Classicsonline and it was selected as one of the best customer reviews in April; bit of a thrill I must confess. You can read it here.

As for progress, the most exciting for me has been coming up with a plan and a plot outline for the first book of a trilogy I’m writing – The Scarlet Ring. None too surprisingly it’s a fantasy story set in a world I’ve been devising for over a decade, off and on. Mostly off for a long time, which is fine as it’s given me the chance to do a revision of everything and focus the world from the sprawling chaos I had to a more distinct and workable form. And the story I started in that world almost a decade ago is finally taking shape!

The pieces started falling into place only in the last couple of days, interestingly the key bits did so while I was thinking about other things, the subconscious is a wondrous thing. In light of previous posts about method I find I’m using both extremes – planning and spontaneity. I’ve been building the world and the characters, fleshing them out, plotting things out in bits; but part of doing that is of course pure invention – and it was a random title that I gave one, then side character, that has led to the breakthroughs. Hats off to the Prince of the Hunt.

The insight I spoke of was also in relation to my writing and the rather long dry period I’m only just coming out of. More specifically it’s about fear – the dread of not being good enough, of failure and of not being a ‘writer’ at all. It struck me again the other day when, I admit with a certain amount of shame, I read about a success someone else had in their writing. It’s a friend of a friend, but hearing about what they achieved (a place in a masterclass) I thought how it wasn’t me, how I didn’t even know about it, how I should’ve, how I wouldn’t have gotten in even had I known … it’s all ridiculous but the wondrous mind is also torturous.

Anyway, mind emptied of story by this pervasive fear and self-doubt, I realised it doesn’t actually matter. I don’t write stories to be a successful writer, I write them because I love doing it. And when I’m not panicking about failing as a writer I write a lot, because I love it and it’s part of who I am. So the fear is misdirected. Failure is a part of life and it’s possible success in that field may not come, at least not to the point I would like. That isn’t the point and is no reason to not write and to try.

So my final comment to you, generous reader, is to ask yourself if there are things you love doing but don’t do because you’re afraid of ‘not being good enough’. If there are, just do them. Do them for the love of doing them and don’t worry how ‘good’ you are at it. Life’s too short to worry about such things.

Keep dreaming!

Flights of Discovery

So, I have been on a plane – twice. It’s actually quite exciting in its way, seeing the world below; Sydney at night became colonies of fireflies and the clouds in the daylight were mountains of ethereal wisps floating on shadows above the ground. Take off isn’t great on the neck however. Not much to say about airline food, they were only short trips. The tea is pretty average, but QANTAS did give us a very nice biscuit.

My holiday was a relaxing and fun week during which we covered a lot of ground exploring the beaches of the Northern Rivers, driving through some villages and dropping by Nimbin for some shopping. There’s also a very good local art gallery there I recommend to anyone passing through. Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary is also well worth the time to explore, say hi to the tree kangaroos for me and watch out for the dragons. Seriously, during the week we saw so many water dragons – at my aunt’s house there were little ones we’d watch over breakfast, running about a stone wall, waving at each other and catching ants, and a bigger one who dropped by one evening; and there were more of them in Currumbin and South Bank, Brisbane where we made friends with one.

I also had the chance to explore numerous worlds, starting with those of Lord Dunsany’s Book of Wonders; a delightful series of very short stories in the manner of fairytales but with a modern twist, I strongly encourage discovering them for yourselves; they’re public domain, quick to read and absolutely charming. I also caught up with the last four issues of Aurealis, which gave me plenty of worlds to discover. I won’t say every story was my cup of tea but they’re all different and give something for everyone – and no I’m not remotely paid to say that. It’s Aussie fiction and done through love for the literature not for monetary gain so check it out and support local writers.

On that score, no I am not about to be one of those writers. My two recent submissions have been rejected; however, both came back with very encouraging and constructive comments. So, while a touch disheartened and disappointed, overall it was a positive experience and will hopefully produce better work. Which is what I must do some of now.

A final thing, an idea for some theatrical evenings has occurred to me embracing both the darker and the more absurd sides of my writing and their short natures. Watch this space. In the meantime, keep exploring!