Reviews, progress and fear
It’s been a few weeks since I blogged, shame be upon me, but my how time flies. There has been some progress on some projects, a bit of a personal insight and a minor bit of excitement. The last one first, I wrote a review for one of the albums I’ve bought through Classicsonline and it was selected as one of the best customer reviews in April; bit of a thrill I must confess. You can read it here.
As for progress, the most exciting for me has been coming up with a plan and a plot outline for the first book of a trilogy I’m writing – The Scarlet Ring. None too surprisingly it’s a fantasy story set in a world I’ve been devising for over a decade, off and on. Mostly off for a long time, which is fine as it’s given me the chance to do a revision of everything and focus the world from the sprawling chaos I had to a more distinct and workable form. And the story I started in that world almost a decade ago is finally taking shape!
The pieces started falling into place only in the last couple of days, interestingly the key bits did so while I was thinking about other things, the subconscious is a wondrous thing. In light of previous posts about method I find I’m using both extremes – planning and spontaneity. I’ve been building the world and the characters, fleshing them out, plotting things out in bits; but part of doing that is of course pure invention – and it was a random title that I gave one, then side character, that has led to the breakthroughs. Hats off to the Prince of the Hunt.
The insight I spoke of was also in relation to my writing and the rather long dry period I’m only just coming out of. More specifically it’s about fear – the dread of not being good enough, of failure and of not being a ‘writer’ at all. It struck me again the other day when, I admit with a certain amount of shame, I read about a success someone else had in their writing. It’s a friend of a friend, but hearing about what they achieved (a place in a masterclass) I thought how it wasn’t me, how I didn’t even know about it, how I should’ve, how I wouldn’t have gotten in even had I known … it’s all ridiculous but the wondrous mind is also torturous.
Anyway, mind emptied of story by this pervasive fear and self-doubt, I realised it doesn’t actually matter. I don’t write stories to be a successful writer, I write them because I love doing it. And when I’m not panicking about failing as a writer I write a lot, because I love it and it’s part of who I am. So the fear is misdirected. Failure is a part of life and it’s possible success in that field may not come, at least not to the point I would like. That isn’t the point and is no reason to not write and to try.
So my final comment to you, generous reader, is to ask yourself if there are things you love doing but don’t do because you’re afraid of ‘not being good enough’. If there are, just do them. Do them for the love of doing them and don’t worry how ‘good’ you are at it. Life’s too short to worry about such things.
Keep dreaming!
As for progress, the most exciting for me has been coming up with a plan and a plot outline for the first book of a trilogy I’m writing – The Scarlet Ring. None too surprisingly it’s a fantasy story set in a world I’ve been devising for over a decade, off and on. Mostly off for a long time, which is fine as it’s given me the chance to do a revision of everything and focus the world from the sprawling chaos I had to a more distinct and workable form. And the story I started in that world almost a decade ago is finally taking shape!
The pieces started falling into place only in the last couple of days, interestingly the key bits did so while I was thinking about other things, the subconscious is a wondrous thing. In light of previous posts about method I find I’m using both extremes – planning and spontaneity. I’ve been building the world and the characters, fleshing them out, plotting things out in bits; but part of doing that is of course pure invention – and it was a random title that I gave one, then side character, that has led to the breakthroughs. Hats off to the Prince of the Hunt.
The insight I spoke of was also in relation to my writing and the rather long dry period I’m only just coming out of. More specifically it’s about fear – the dread of not being good enough, of failure and of not being a ‘writer’ at all. It struck me again the other day when, I admit with a certain amount of shame, I read about a success someone else had in their writing. It’s a friend of a friend, but hearing about what they achieved (a place in a masterclass) I thought how it wasn’t me, how I didn’t even know about it, how I should’ve, how I wouldn’t have gotten in even had I known … it’s all ridiculous but the wondrous mind is also torturous.
Anyway, mind emptied of story by this pervasive fear and self-doubt, I realised it doesn’t actually matter. I don’t write stories to be a successful writer, I write them because I love doing it. And when I’m not panicking about failing as a writer I write a lot, because I love it and it’s part of who I am. So the fear is misdirected. Failure is a part of life and it’s possible success in that field may not come, at least not to the point I would like. That isn’t the point and is no reason to not write and to try.
So my final comment to you, generous reader, is to ask yourself if there are things you love doing but don’t do because you’re afraid of ‘not being good enough’. If there are, just do them. Do them for the love of doing them and don’t worry how ‘good’ you are at it. Life’s too short to worry about such things.
Keep dreaming!
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